Jennifer Lopez woke up this morning and said, “Bring me the tallest accessories in all the land,” and the land being Paris, it was done. Lopez, who is currently honeymooning with Ben Affleck in France, stepped out of her hotel in shoes, earrings, and sunglasses that can only be described as XXL. Let the models keep their teeny shades and minimalism;, J.Lo said “MORE!” Let’s break it down.
Taking in the French air, the singer-producer-actor opted for a dove-gray spin on the platform heels she wore the day before. On a trip to the Louvre, she’d stepped out in pink high-platform peep-toes. Exiting her hotel, she chose heels so tall you can literally see all the layers supporting her. Ma’am, you know you’re allowed to just get your jeans hemmed, right? You don’t actually have to do this.
Then there’s the glasses. Now this is just classic J.Lo. When she’s not in aviators, her lenses are big and tinted, even when she’s playing a character.
As for the earrings? Well, they’re not technically hoops, since they don’t circle her earlobes, but they have circles, so close enough. Allow Jennifer Lopez herself to explain the benefits of the hoops lifestyle:
“Glittering, sparkly, circles. Those are how you make a hoop!” There’s actually so much style wisdom here. If Lopez’s Gino’s girlfriend says, “Don’t be stupid. Hoop earrings go with everything,” then hoop earrings go with everything. “Do you look like garbage a little bit and wish you didn’t? Put on hoops and people will think, She looks nice,” she tells me, and I want people to think that! I do want my earlobes to get married to my shoulders.
But beware the dangers of hoops. “Very important: Don’t hold a baby with these in. Babies love hoops, and they’re very grabby people,” and also, “The bigger the hoop, it hurts more.” So true.